Being complimented is a nice feeling. Being told you are beautiful is a fleeting feeling. Being told you are enough is something else.
Validation is something women are taught from society. Feeling the need or desire to look pretty/sexy/beautiful for ourself is not enough. Society will lead us to believe that validation is what a women needs.When complimented, we are in turn being told that we are enough. That our beauty or the way we captivate a room is enough. But this my darling, can become a mindfuck. It can leave us always gasping for that seal of approval. That nod saying “yes maybe you are enough.”
From a young age, my parents were humble in their approach. They complimented me little. At times it made me feel like the ugly kid picked last at sports. This in turn had a tumultuous effect in my approach to self-love, beauty, men and relationships. Never being told I was pretty meant that when these words poured out like honey from a man’s mouth, I soaked it up. I soaked it all up like a damp cloth. I felt ‘validated’ and that my presence meant something to them. Obviously this was wrong and lead me to feel insecure and have low self-esteem. My parents reasoning was that they wanted to give me a level head. Not to walk proudly because of beauty but embrace and appreciate other qualities. I got to thank them slightly cause i’m not a stuck up bitch, but I did have issues with beauty and self image. This has taken time but no-one wakes up to be a finished piece of art. We are all work in progress.
Validation comes from within first. It also has some hand in what other people say to you. But the way you handle it is in your hands. You can either be a proud peacock or a humble horse.