Em(n(o))tional Labour

We are told frequently that women are more intuitive, more empathetic, more innately willing and able to offer succor and advice. How convenient that this cultural construct gives men an excuse to be emotionally lazy. How convenient that it casts feelings-based work as “an internal need, an aspiration, supposedly coming from the depths of our female character.


circle of love, circle of life 

and it’s a sad thing 

policing your daughters

because you teach them that how others percieve them

is of a higher value than their self worth.
it’s even sadder how the same ways in which you shun them

and then are surprised by their sneaky ways 

is an outlet which becomes a habit when practiced more than once.

it’s angry how you say you are not your parents generation yet you desire to follow the same traditions 

into an age where letters are not even sent.

it’s pitiful how the freedom you suck out of her is the same freedom which will then be controlled by her spouse/partner

it’s amazing this circle of life you keep us girls in

to be policed

to be silenced

to be conditioned to feel nothing 

Oscars 2017 was a set up 

Oscars be set up 2017

They really thought La La Land was going to win

It’s that time of the year again. The prestigious award ceremony. Considering the backlash that the Academy has recieved last year with #Oscarssowhite #BoycottOscars it was refreshing and somewhat needed for a more diverse pool of nominees. 

With Viola Davies winning Best Actress, and Mahershala Ali winning best supporting actor it was a triumphant night for the minority. However the real drama unfolded when the best picture was announced. Or should I say wrongly announced then left to simmer until production had to intrude on stage four minutes after speeches were given on behalf of La La Land’s cast. 

To then say that the wrong name had been announced because one person couldn’t read a fucking name printed CLEARLY on a white card, baffles me. English is your first language, yet my man has the audacity to somewhat mix up the cards and make an assumption based on the best supporting actress and leave it to the white woman to announce. Yes. How very white supremist of you. 

This is what saddened me. Moonlight did not get the recognition and celelbratory applaud and standing ovation, because the award was handed down to them. Almost like a second rate prize. After the person wins first place, who really cares about the contestant in second place. They were denied their moment of triumph. Their five second of fame. They were given a round of tainted applause from the previous winner. “Oh so they won, okay let me carry on clapping.” From giving heartfelt acceptance speeches reflecting their work and dedication to a film up against the Hollywood moguls. For having to give a second speech, already engulfed in the words from their competitors and having to constantly acknowledge their work. Yet the grace and humility shown by the director of Moonlight, the way he phrased his words was in such a humble manner. He felt truly blessed because he didn’t think the Academy would acknowledge his work the way they do with mediocre white directors. That all said because if there was a show of disappointment in the handling of things, the media would be the first to label then as the ‘angry, black crew.’ That my friends is how the white supremist system works.

I would like to believe that the whole facade was a set up to undermine minority people, the way these institutions always do. 

never question the weight of your word

and you say women should not be afraid to speak up,

but tell me how my voice can leave the tongue when we have been told to quieten down,

that loud voices with thoughts are not becoming of a woman

or when we speak up we are undermined not because of content, but because of gender

how man always sees himself as the dominant, and see no harm in talking over us to silence us

or to question us

tell us to calm down

say it was a joke

ask why are we getting so emotional

as if women can not separate rational thoughts from emotive feeling

how we are mocked at for speaking up

speaking out

when women are the most complex creatures 

but when it comes to the last word

man will utter a statement regardless of its truth, and then belittle women when questioned.