and it’s a sad thing
policing your daughters
because you teach them that how others percieve them
is of a higher value than their self worth.
it’s even sadder how the same ways in which you shun them
and then are surprised by their sneaky ways
is an outlet which becomes a habit when practiced more than once.
it’s angry how you say you are not your parents generation yet you desire to follow the same traditions
into an age where letters are not even sent.
it’s pitiful how the freedom you suck out of her is the same freedom which will then be controlled by her spouse/partner
it’s amazing this circle of life you keep us girls in
to be policed
to be silenced
to be conditioned to feel nothing
Respect. A social, sometimes more culturally heavy construct engrained in the mind of every young girl, from childhood to adulthood. The respect of a man. The obedience which follows this. The reminder that respect for a man exceeds your own comfortableness.
Yet in this day and age, we are enforcing all our teachings to our daughters yet somehow forgetting that a woman should be respected too. This respect for the female is not taught with the same precedent as for a man. This is where situations arise. Young boys are not taught how to treat a women with respect. These same young boys within the family are pampered by their mothers/grandmothers/aunties in such a way it is sickening. They are wrapped up in cotton. They are led to believe that their status is somehow higher. They forget where the boundary is and do not understand the word “No.” All because this was not taught from an early age.
However when roles are reversed, men are led to believe that their partner/wife should be of an obedient respectful nature. This same attitude is then expected from his children. Yet the respect does not always meet in the middle. To meet an asian father who bears the utmost respect for his daughter is still pending. Women are expected to give and to give but what does the man have to offer. We are told patience, respect and love. Compromise is our second language. So tell me why I should expect no more from a man. Is it because they do not exist? Or is it because they do not wish to mould themselves in a way because they have never been asked?
Why should a girl always speak quieter. Why should a girl never boast of her success. Why let these young boys have everything handed to them.This cultural issue is rooted so deeply, I pray for my children and their children. It will take time to understand. It will take an equal understanding and a different approach in how we upbring our sons and daughters. It is a question of altering and displacing misogyny with equality. It is time for women and MEN (yes I said it, men) to bring up their sons and daughters together. In the same fucking way god damn it. Rant over.
Sexuality is not restricted. Sexuality is ever changing, it is not caged in a box. It is fluid, running like water.
Sexuality, a taboo to talk about in certain cultures due to shame and respect. But with the new millennial’s ever present to breaking conformity, sexuality is not rigid to how it used to be. With gender neutrality coming to play in major advertising campaigns, such as the likes of Jaden Smith for Vogue Korea, it can be argued that the generation of today have a more varied outlook on sexuality and relationships.
Being Asian Indian comes with it’s set of instructions, one could point out. Religion always comes into play, but what the older generation love to place on our heads is the mix up of culture with religion. Sexuality is an issue not to be discussed amongst women, yet we can discuss anything else in the horizon about men. It is aggravating. Sexual desires are always tossed away. Sexual fantasies, oh darling your ass would be deported back home. But the thought of you meddling with another girl, damn shit would hit the fan.
I guess time has changed and pushed society into hyper speed with change, but culture and tradition will always stay rooted within us. Whether we like it or not. For sure there needs to be a wider and more balanced outlook on sexuality. A more fairer view. A more concerned view for our sons and not an overbearing view on our daughters. A place where I can pull out my vibrator and my mother won’t cuss the shit out of me.