move on 

stop waiting for people to show up

stop waiting for people to care.

stop looking for potential that just isn’t there.

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Ever never lasting 

a man’s love is as conditional as the thing he desires. To what he can get out of it.

a woman’s love is unconditional to what she can put into it. To the potential she sees. 

empower me. you do

I have not been let down as many times emotionally from a woman than i have a man. Women are the driving force for me to love and self love. From too many setbacks and unclear paths with a male companion, i decided a long time ago to give my heart and soul to me. To women like me. To women like you. 

Yet the bit that frustrates me aside from the empowerment is the distrust in women. We fear each others power and sexual prowess in relation to a man. Sometimes it is not enough hearing it from her, that you need to hear it from him. The final word. The final say. It is the bitterness and rivalry we are conditioned to play out in various scenarios with other females. Yes, disliking a female on personal matters relating to you does not mean that you have dropped the baton of empowerment. It is still there. But the sizing up and deducing where the other womans loyalty lies is a tricky game. The ‘maybe she said that to play with me. Did she really mean it. He didn’t think so.’ That dialogue is one which we all women need to work on. The catfighting over each others ex and asking ‘Is she better than me?’ 

No honey. That is where we fall down the rabbit hole. 

‘She is beautiful in her entirety, as I am in mine.’ Say it with me. Empower yourself and don’t fall suit to doubting the divine feminine energy which you posess.

Lots of love xo

to take accountability 

yet it is true in the year of the big 2017, holding men accountable of their actions is as equivalent as teaching pythagoras thereom to an infant. When a woman makes a rape allegation, why do we avoid and jump over hoops for the perpetrator. (Yes, spare me the ‘some men are raped too segment  for now) the onus is always on the woman.  “why was she wearing such clothes which would give u illicit thoughts, who told her to drink and be social,(the same a man would do)? Who told her to make eye contact with any male figure? ” How ridiculous do these sound. Yet the man is the strong and trusted, mostly with the last word. Then why is accountability never a second sense. Even in abusive relationships, the underlying question which always surfaces time and time again; Why didn’t she just leave him? She should have stayed and worked things out. Why did she chose him. Tell me in which situation does the accountability compass point to the man? If you’re a man reading this, thinking it’s a load of drivel, then go out and talk to your female friends. Ask them instead of talking off your face about yourself. If you don’t understand this narrative or can’t fixate your head around this notion, maybe take a step back and actually listen to a women’s perspective. Everything we see in this day and age is a male experience or insight. Next time you read an article, see who edited and wrote it. Was it a man called Tom ( White male privilege piece, can’t wait to see what that’s about) Or next time you switch to Netflix and load up a move, who is the director? Oh watching another Steven Spielberg directed movie? Asshole. Listen, read, gauge up something from a woman’s perspective as opposed to seeing her as a vessel for your friday night porn sessions. Take off that cloak of male privilege that you walk around in everyday, and appreciate (maybe that’s a far fetch for now) but try and understand why women are angry. Try and reflect on why the ‘men are trash’ movement is actually a thing. (yeah your interest might have just piqued right now, but this is prevalent in this day and age too) 

So let me leave you with this nugget for now. If you’re a woman who feels the same (drop me a comment) or a man who can’t quite understand (drop me a like, and read up on Simone Beaviour) 

 Freedom is the sense of no fear. Only when men are hold accountable and TAUGHT and IMPLEMENT to take accountability of their actions will woman be free. 

Em(n(o))tional Labour

We are told frequently that women are more intuitive, more empathetic, more innately willing and able to offer succor and advice. How convenient that this cultural construct gives men an excuse to be emotionally lazy. How convenient that it casts feelings-based work as “an internal need, an aspiration, supposedly coming from the depths of our female character.

Credit 

never question the weight of your word

and you say women should not be afraid to speak up,

but tell me how my voice can leave the tongue when we have been told to quieten down,

that loud voices with thoughts are not becoming of a woman

or when we speak up we are undermined not because of content, but because of gender

how man always sees himself as the dominant, and see no harm in talking over us to silence us

or to question us

tell us to calm down

say it was a joke

ask why are we getting so emotional

as if women can not separate rational thoughts from emotive feeling

how we are mocked at for speaking up

speaking out

when women are the most complex creatures 

but when it comes to the last word

man will utter a statement regardless of its truth, and then belittle women when questioned.

LEMONADE

 

Beyonce has done it again. Released a full length visual album without any exposure. The one hour feature length film is sassy to say the least and it a honest love letter to herself, and to all woman. There is a progression which you can see shift from the offset of the video, up to the climax.

It is angry, it is provoking, it is empowering and it is mindful. Beyonce hits on all themes of jealousy, apathy, anger to resentment. With her screaming at the camera in a parking lot “Who the f*** do you think you are, you ain’t married to no average b**** boy” to her throwing her wedding ring towards the camera. You can sense the bitterness and heartbreak as she shoots down her husband and talks openly in regards with his adultery.

From the likes of Serena Williams to Zendaya and Amandla Stenberg joining her on this visual embarkment, there is a sense of unity and female empowerment. This is one thing which truly stood out to me. The woman were not used as props but more so a visual element to convey a deeper message.

The connotation of Lemonade taken from her Grandmother’s speech at her 90th birthday, the album is a celebration of the women in her life down to her daughter ‘Blue Ivy.’ She appears during the film from shots taken when Beyonce was pregnant to videos of Jay-Z and Blue playing soccer. Beyonce is more personal with this album. There is a raw element to it. She embraces her flaws and mistakes and in a way is showing her human side. Her vulnerable side, mixed with the strong protagonist she is. There are home made videos laced within the film showing clips from her wedding, where she sings in the backdrop “when love was stronger than your pride.”

With the mothers, daughters and sisters of the victims of police brutality shown, Beyonce voices their battle too. Following controversy regarding her ‘Formation’ video, Beyonce understands the precedent of her power. She is a woman to be reckoned with. This is the exact message she is sending to her husband. “You come home at 3am and lie to me.” Let’s not get it twisted though. The whole album is not just regarding adultery. It is about the underlying police brutality to references to Malcolm X stating black women are ignored.

All in all, if you haven’t watched the feature length film yet, you are missing out on the Lemonade everyone is drinking from.