and they never tell you how to deal with heartbreak over friends
they never tell you how deep the pain runs
but it happens. and you live
but to me you will always be my first love
and no one else can displace the energy and passion i put into you
so i wish you well, but i can’t see this through
you can always call me your home – you could have tried a little harder for us
the imperfections of human relationships
a man’s love is as conditional as the thing he desires. To what he can get out of it.
a woman’s love is unconditional to what she can put into it. To the potential she sees.
I have not been let down as many times emotionally from a woman than i have a man. Women are the driving force for me to love and self love. From too many setbacks and unclear paths with a male companion, i decided a long time ago to give my heart and soul to me. To women like me. To women like you.
Yet the bit that frustrates me aside from the empowerment is the distrust in women. We fear each others power and sexual prowess in relation to a man. Sometimes it is not enough hearing it from her, that you need to hear it from him. The final word. The final say. It is the bitterness and rivalry we are conditioned to play out in various scenarios with other females. Yes, disliking a female on personal matters relating to you does not mean that you have dropped the baton of empowerment. It is still there. But the sizing up and deducing where the other womans loyalty lies is a tricky game. The ‘maybe she said that to play with me. Did she really mean it. He didn’t think so.’ That dialogue is one which we all women need to work on. The catfighting over each others ex and asking ‘Is she better than me?’
No honey. That is where we fall down the rabbit hole.
‘She is beautiful in her entirety, as I am in mine.’ Say it with me. Empower yourself and don’t fall suit to doubting the divine feminine energy which you posess.
Lots of love xo
waiting for your happily ever after. Patience is loving yourself louder than your past. Patience is waiting for leaves to fall in their place.
Patience is having faith and not returning before the storm has ended.
What is this notion of keeping a man? The birthright of a woman passed down from generation to the next, teaching us how to ‘satisfy’ and ‘keep’ a man. What if the man does not want to be “kept” and enjoys his bachelor ways? What happens then?
Stemming all the way back to our ancestors, woman have had to hold the brunt for various things. Feminism and equality are notions which have been pushed to the forefront just recently. Yet there are still these internalised beliefs engrained in us. These beliefs which men enjoy entertaining and which women, somehow, have come to accept.
From over saturation of sex within the media and social platforms churning out the same repeated garbage, it is no wonder us women are left with low self-esteem. Being the embodiment of sex along with grace, humility, shame and having an oceon of love to span the world and back, the requirements for female is an all time high. With everything being of face value, presentation of a women is highly scrutinised. “Oh that’s too much make-up, oh her clothes are too fitting,” yet somehow these are the basis on how a man should be kept. I, for one did not realise the value of love was translated through the currency of upkeep and maintenance and not affection.
If a woman enjoys being sexual and takes it in her own hands, that is not the reason why she can not “keep” her man. If a woman enjoys being in a powerful position and earns the bread, that is not the reason why she can not “keep” her man.
Her man does not want to be kept if he has made up his mind. Repeat this after me. It is not on the onus of his partner. It is solely him and him only. Her being a “good girl” or being “tolerant” would not have swayed the mans decision anyway. So stop victim shaming women after everything they’ve been through.
Sexuality is not restricted. Sexuality is ever changing, it is not caged in a box. It is fluid, running like water.
Sexuality, a taboo to talk about in certain cultures due to shame and respect. But with the new millennial’s ever present to breaking conformity, sexuality is not rigid to how it used to be. With gender neutrality coming to play in major advertising campaigns, such as the likes of Jaden Smith for Vogue Korea, it can be argued that the generation of today have a more varied outlook on sexuality and relationships.
Being Asian Indian comes with it’s set of instructions, one could point out. Religion always comes into play, but what the older generation love to place on our heads is the mix up of culture with religion. Sexuality is an issue not to be discussed amongst women, yet we can discuss anything else in the horizon about men. It is aggravating. Sexual desires are always tossed away. Sexual fantasies, oh darling your ass would be deported back home. But the thought of you meddling with another girl, damn shit would hit the fan.
I guess time has changed and pushed society into hyper speed with change, but culture and tradition will always stay rooted within us. Whether we like it or not. For sure there needs to be a wider and more balanced outlook on sexuality. A more fairer view. A more concerned view for our sons and not an overbearing view on our daughters. A place where I can pull out my vibrator and my mother won’t cuss the shit out of me.